` dreams, dreams

2011-06-20T00:12:00.002+08:00

puzzles. my pet peeve. really!

i grew up with puzzles.. from really young, as far as i can remember, the classic - jigsaws. then word puzzles, number games.. and more jigsaws. :) word search, like tens of thousands of them completed just in my primary school years. even more of them through secondary school.. then sudoku came into my life - thousands of them again. (i average 30+ in a day? XD)

and now... i'm still doing them.. online jigsaws (yawn, i know), more word games - word search, scrabble whatnots, and more sudoku.

and speaking of jigsaw, i remember a 5,000 pieces set i helped a teacher with. that was indeed a nightmare. 5,000 pieces ranging from yellow to orange... -.-" oh, and that was van gogh's painting of the five sunflowers. well, that was what i remembered anyway. done in a week. :) that was quite a feat, since that was primary school. :D *prouddddd*

2011-06-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

someone once mentioned to me.. all the good girls are either taken, or broken.

it may not be generally true. but it highlights an issue that's been around for.. ever?

getting hurt.. sometimes it's expectations. sometimes it's just a lack of understanding. sometimes it's deceit... or something else. but whatever it was, surely you would have anticipated in some corner of your mind, that you might get hurt in a relationship. surely you won't be that naive to believe that it wouldn't ever happen to you?

i had been naive. i had learnt the hard way.. but what of those girls with great guys by their sides? would you tie your guy down with everything in your arsenal? make days unbearable for them? wouldn't you think and walk a mile in their shoes before complaining, whining, and throwing that princessly temper about?

okay now that i just read through what i had been typing.. i realised it's all disjointed. wtf? i'm sorry but my train of thoughts had ran into bumpy grounds. bear with me, yep? (well the alternative is... click that red X on the top right hand corner :p)

well, to sum things up, what i'm trying to say is.. we are all people. there is a set of certain things we all like. respect, freedom, to name a few.. have you heard of do unto others what you want others to do unto you? yeah, you'll never go wrong to stick by it. never.

on a last note before i end this.. crappy post.. what i really want to say is, cherish the people around you for you wouldn't know when they'll leave you.. maybe even forever. keep them close, but give them the freedom they deserve and all should go well, savvy? well, and the if it's meant to be crap.. if you believe in that.. (:

2011-05-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

usually when I get upset, I'm upset with myself.. for a myriad of reasons. yet this time, I'm like upset-squared - I'm upset with myself for being upset over someone else.

to me, having control over my emotions - it's power. because my emotions is the key to managing any situation..

had I been paying lesser attention than I should to my emotions? why would I be affected by someone who shouldn't affect me at all..? why..?

2011-05-04T00:34:00.001+08:00

大切な友達だからずっと心配してね～　（ツ）

2011-04-27T23:56:00.001+08:00

what my heart yearns.. it's really scary. what i should not even be thinking about.

2011-04-10T01:21:00.002+08:00

something that people always fail to see. and understand.

there is an obvious difference between solitude and loneliness.

and what makes it different is the level of contentment.

solitude is being content with being alone. whereas loneliness... there's a yen for company.

ah well. that being said, that's really it. there might be a mixture of both feelings sometimes, but personally i feel that if you were to feel that way, you're damn conflicted. as both feelings are supposedly mutually exclusive.

2011-04-03T14:55:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling strangely moody these days. must be the hormones screwing me up.. ahh well..

family. suddenly i feel like i have none. home? what is home..?

friends. today, more than anyday, i feel the weight of friendship on me. the weight that gives me a really happy feeling. it's there, but not enough to crush a person.. enough to make you feel real. to feel alive.

and today, out of all days, i feel so tired of fighting the world. i'd been doing that my entire life.. fighting the rules, the norms, fighting against other people's beliefs. well i'm taking a break today. i'm going to be pathetic and feel miserable. and i'll be back tomorrow. stronger, and refreshed.

you watch me, world.

2011-03-07T20:33:00.001+08:00

okay i changed some stuff on the template..

and the old old old old code for twitter is screwing up..

since i'm not good at anything IT (i'm serious here), it'd take me forever to fix it..

so if you really want to see my twits, go and read it on twitter. alright? :)

<---- btw the link is there.... if you can't see it.

2011-03-07T20:21:00.001+08:00

actually i wanted to catch a little rest now..

and wake up later to watch anime till like 5 in the morning..

and i remembered.................

i'm going to my cousin's place tomorrow in the morning. oh well. maybe tomorrow then.

2011-03-07T20:02:00.002+08:00

flirting is like tightrope dancing. where every move is carefully calculated. where every obvious hint is purposefully ignored. where a single carelessness would lead to a fall..

would you like to fall?

...just some food for thought.

2011-03-07T19:56:00.002+08:00

i really don't know why am i back to blogging. but oh well. maybe i'm just getting too free. x)

some quotes i got from this guy that i don't know but follow on twitter 'cos he's just so damn good.

here goes..

-Sometimes, there are things you just want to do over and over again to make them right. But, sometimes you really only ever get one chance

-Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people just hide it better than others

-What people fail to understand is, even the people who act strong needs someone to lean on from time to time

-You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they treat people they don’t have to treat well

2011-03-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

i just feel so out of sorts today..

suddenly i feel that i'm not that sure of myself anymore.

2011-03-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

been ages since i last blogged haha.

i have this guy buddy of seven years whom i had been very close to.. unfortunately his ~~psychotic~~ jealous gf had done so many extreme things that he chose to keep his distance from me. i really missed those days when we laughed together, played together, and loved chocolates together. but that's history.

recently, i met another guy whom i clicked with very well. ;) he reminds me of my buddy. the same fuzzy buddy-buddy feeling that's so familiar, yet so totally different. i find myself smiling, laughing.. the same way i used to last time.

today i realised that despite how close we were, we were only friends. only you and i, and people who knew both of us, could understand that. that's why i had told you very bluntly that your gf is seriously not worth your time. however, the choice was yours. so i had to respect it. it's okay. i'm doing fine, if not better.. whereas for you.. i can't say anything, but i'll be there when you need me. i promise. even though you broke your promise to me, it's okay. i know why and i know you had no choice.

without your shoulder to cry on when i need to, things are definitely different. you had this unique way of consoling me.. even if the sky were to fall down, i'm sure you would have found a way to prop it up, wouldn't you? but it's okay, i'm coping well. i don't need a shoulder to cry on anymore now. i'd grow up, i'd grow stronger.. i'm a big girl now, buddy.

i know you'd still worry, despite not talking much. but it's okay. mummy's looking over me from the heavens. i'll be alright. mummy will keep me safe. wouldn't you, mummy?

you know, buddy.. those years ago when i was still a little girl i knew that i liked you more than just friends. i was a little girl.. ruled more by my heart, lesser by my head. but as i grew up, and knew you better, i know that if given the chance, one day i would fall for you. but i matured more. and realised that even though the feeling we had for each other was mutual, there was no chance. we were too similar, and too different. we can never be together. that's why we are the best of friends, weren't we? the bond we shared.. we both know it will always be there despite everything we do to get rid of it.. there are days when i really feel like slapping you, the way you always wanted me to. but i couldn't. it's just like how you couldn't bear to hit me. x)

buddy, today i'm letting you know. i found another friend like you.. he's really nice, really awesome. he's normal. he's a miracle. he's different from you, yet so alike. but he'd never be a replacement for you.. i'm waiting for my friend to come back to me.. to spend time together like we had always been.

2010-09-20T16:21:00.003+08:00

i'm glad to see you living your life well without.. me.

i'd never forget the laughter, the joy.. the sadness.

the memories.

the friendship, that we shared.

well, all the best. just in case you never knew, i had doted on you very much throughout those years.. even till now.

it was my mistake to start with. my mistake to continue with. and my mistake to end with.

thank you, my dearest friend. continue living your life well, just without that tinge of sadness i still can see. :)

zzzzzz

2010-08-31T20:56:00.003+08:00

why do i feel like i'm all alone today?

mbt paper ended today. it was crap, really. the english was like wthareyoufreakingtryingtoask. using bombastic words -.- really, screw off.

supposed to study for marketing tomorrow. i don't want to study, really. s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d ttm.

and everyone's mad at me for whatever reason.

stop putting those freaking expectations on me, lah. you all think it's so easy to be me? try being me for one day before putting me down.

i hate this world, really do.

dilemma

2010-08-19T17:57:00.002+08:00

these days i had been wondering about many things. the past, the present.. and what the future will be like? and i'm plagued with dilemmas.

heart over head or head over heart? i don't really know what everyone wants also. perhaps, it would be safer to just play along.. and see how it goes.

really, i'm rambling, yet again. bleahs.

Obnoxious is Noxious

2010-07-13T20:27:00.003+08:00

i've got enough of obnoxious drivers. those with expensive cars that are simply not worth the money. prestige that mean nothing. hate die you all!

school had been fairly hectic. lots of work UNDONE. heck. well, i'm blogging - tells much right?

things to do :

- mug-practice piano for coming exams. 23.75 days more to go.. i'm going to make it!

- sign up for btt (oh gosh i had procrastinated for... 2 years!)

- finish reading koizora

- start mugging for exams, especially for mbt! 6 credits is no laughing matter D:

well, back to doing some work that i should be doing. hehh.

2010-05-24T21:34:00.002+08:00

i am, as usual, not keeping promises i made to myself.

i saw something that really upset me just now. have to admit, i'm really really too defensive over things regarding my friends. especially people whom i consider really dear to me.

common test is coming in... a little more than half a month's time. which isn't a lot, to tell the truth. for cell tech, the format is 30MCQ+20T/F questions. a little... crappy, actually. but it's a mystery how they would set the questions.

some random stuff:

- driving : private or school?
- piano funds : in progress (0.0001%)
- search for a nice piano (definition by my standards: nice rich "resounding" bass) : in progress (0%)
- studying for ~~common test~~ exams : in progress (20%)

friends are forever..?

2010-05-06T17:22:00.004+08:00

listening to the theme song of 10 promises to my dog now.

really miss the time when we went to watch the movie. the days we walked along the beach, singing the same songs - songs that meant much to us, even if they meant different things. days when we are truly friends. when you lent me your shoulder to cry one. when we could talk about anything under the sun.

but fate has been kind - to be able to know you. it was such a miracle. we may be a town, and two years and a day apart. but how it is that we share so much in common? i don't know. that's probably why we clicked. but that alone wasn't enough for you to take my words as a friend, and stop being so... stupid.

seldom do i know someone who could take my words, no matter how meanly i put it, and think about it. see from my perspective. walk in my shoes.

maybe i'm not that great a friend to you, unlike you being such a fantastic friend to me. but i'll trying to understand. trying to walk in your shoes (literally, they will be over-sized so, yup, metaphorically.)

but despite all, i'm sure the day will come when you're no longer tied down by promises never meant to be made, and kept. till then, i wish you the best.

2010-05-03T19:59:00.002+08:00

well, somehow i'm just not used to school starting all over again.

miss the slacking :3

anyway, loads to do! today's lab was like, record-breakingly short. like 40mins, including time spent settling down and briefing. insane!

:D

well, loads to do. lab "re-porks" (according to marcus), piano practice. yadah!

2010-04-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

i'm thinking of blogging again.

like, instead of once a month updates, i'll try to update more often.

let's just start with once a week. :D

for starters, school started. things never changed much. same old people. same old food in the canteens. oh, speaking of which, the south canteen was renovated. much airier.. but the crowd remains.

lots of things to do this semester...

have to be more organised.
have to get more things done.
have to study more, and smarter.
have to practice piano more.
have to save more.
have to get out more.
have to try harder.
have to score better.

and... yeah, have to go get my lab report done by tonight. :) ta-ta~

2010-04-09T22:08:00.007+08:00

went pass assumption english today. i was like - o.o oh, so that's how mal's school looked like. ahhaha.

haven't been blogging for aeons. can't blame me, right? i'm not that into blogging afterall :x

i got a really cute piggy bank from salvation army today. there's a reeeeally old piano for sale at S$500 there. but, yeah, pretty bad condition. needs PLENTY of tuning + restoration. well, not too bad if you're into old stuff. the whole place smelt really homey. like, full-of-old-stuff kind of homey.

school's starting soon. feeling kind of apprehensive. yeah, i'm nervous about meeting those people again. i wonder if i can turn the situation around - make going to school be an experience filled with laughter, joy, and lots of hard work... instead of pure politics. maybe it's just me, yeah?

i love being around friends. love making new friends. or rather, i love the attention. somehow i'm always hogging the limelight.

whatever it is, i promise i'll try hard. for all those who matter - my dearest darling, friends, and all who care. (:

for one friend who had been exposed to the public in a very very unpleasant way - learn, be smart. somethings are never meant to be posted online. you know it, i know it. control it. things about you should never be out of your own reach.

2010-03-20T01:34:00.000+08:00

expectations kill.

they really do.

2010-02-02T16:22:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling so HYPER today for no reason!! i guess it's cos SCHOOL IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END.

well, before that there's the EXAMS. must chiong chIONG CHIONG ! >.<

i'd been thinking of the good ol' days in cchms. haha really missed EVERYONE. like, wow the guys ORD-ed already, the girls in U already. and me leh, stuck in nowhere. like wth. -_-

hais. made enough mistakes. time gone, friends gone. gotta make up for it.

and out of the few frens that drifted away... or rather, tk and lucas. i realise i miss lucas more than tk. feel abit bias :X

2010-01-31T23:04:00.002+08:00

i decided i shall not care about my karma in plurk. it's emotional blackmail, make me plurk nonsense everyday. -.-

exams are drawing really near. i can smell them. wahaha. okay la, i like exams. cos after exams~ its TEH HOLIDAYS :D hee heeeee

pigpig's going on field camp again! :( not fairrrr.

2010-01-25T08:41:00.002+08:00

monday blues again.

darling called this morning to wake me up. apparently, i was in the i-don't-care-there's-school-or-what-i-just-wanna-sleep mood.

feeling a little miffed already in the morning. darling has to go field camp this week, yet again. it's the 4th consecutive week he has field camp. which sucks.

2010-01-21T08:21:00.002+08:00

it's a miracle that i'm feeling lucid today. and i stubbed my toe when the bus suddenly decided to lurch forward. damn inertia.

crap happens. people who dare to dare others, yet don't dare to face consequences. total loser.

had a really good talk with mal last night. yup, i did say i'll think it over. i will. thanks for caring, seriously.

2010-01-18T12:54:00.003+08:00

shit happens. shit really happens.

went to school early today to realise there isn't presentation. in fact, it was moved to next week. damn.

went home. rested for a while. and now i'm on the way back to school.

today really sucks ttm. everything's wrong. my lappy's freezing as and when it's happy. my class reps aren't giving out the lecture and tutorial notes, they aren't informing us of class schedule changes, i don't have money to pay for my g 8 exams.

and everything continues to go wrong.

sigh.

new year, old fears

2010-01-01T11:39:00.003+08:00

it's new year's, yet again.

year after year, this day never fails to come. and year after year, i never fail to fear.

fearing that people close to me would turn and walk away, fearing that people that i care for would hurt, fearing that one day i would wake up and realised that my own world had betrayed me.

a little irrational, i know. but things like that had happened enough times for me to be wary.

two days to remind me of the two years i missed. and i'm just barely starting, hoping that things would return to what they were like before. even that itself is wishful thinking. i had missed out the two years where you two had grown up the most, how can i hope that things would be like before? in the past it used to be either two of us, whispering pointing and laughing. now, it's only you two. saddening, somehow.

with much hope, this year will be better.

2009-12-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

of all the things i've regretted.

i regretted letting go of a friendship like no other. and thinking back, for a totally screwed reason too.

it sucks when history turns around and smack you right in the face.

but at least, we're taking steps to what was before. it may never be the same, but it's worth a try. and of course, smacking history right back in the face, as an added incentive.

2009-12-18T01:55:00.003+08:00

159 days had gone by since...

the day i said YES to you, dearest darling :D

that's about 23 weeks. and every last second of the whole time i had known you,

i had been happy.

thank you for everything, 亲爱的 - you're my everything. ♥♥♥

2009-12-11T09:48:00.003+08:00

happy fifth monthsary dearreest darling pig :)

these five month didn't come easy. especially for you. ns is tough, but you were dished more dirt than the rest. but the important thing is you survived, so far.

one and a half year to go. that is 18 months, give or take a little. and approximately 80 weeks. 80 book outs.

when you feel down, remember what i've given you. remember that i'll always be here, or there, or wherever you need me. remember that despite everything that could happen, you can always come back to me.

lots of love. (:

2009-12-10T12:22:00.001+08:00

i'm in the e-learning plaza. the first time i stepped foot here. haha.

and i'm freezing.

♥'s having physio at sgh. wonder if it's over. wonder if he's feeling better.

i don't know if there is lecture later. jj say there isn't. regina says there is. me? i seriously don't know.

sigh.

2009-12-09T08:24:00.002+08:00

i don't know what is it about december that makes people want to have accidents on the route that i'm taking to school. somehow.

i hate morning traffic enough already. and then there's this motorbike and a car that crashed (god, you should have seen the state of the bike). but seriously, leaving us with only one lane only slows traffic that wee bit. it's the busybody-ness of people that causes jamming. like mad.

i remember once dad mentioned that he saw an accident on the expressway. and the expressway is jammed. the catch is, the jam is on the road going the other direction, not the road that the accident occurred on. so yeah. -_-'' seriously. maybe they are trying to see the license plate number to buy 4D. just as typical singaporeans.

2009-12-08T16:53:00.003+08:00

how much does it take for two person to believe in the same lie? not much, i guess.

i just hope that one day, you do not awaken from the lie and realise, "damn, why hadn't i seen this earlier?"

♥ pigpig, wishing you're here with me yet again. :) hope your field camp is going well. i hope, even though it's like wishful thinking - but that's really all i can do for you.

stay strong. it's always easier said than done.

but let's give our best okay?

2009-12-07T21:26:00.002+08:00

realised that i hadn't been doing many many things on my to-do list. it's getting longer and longer each passing day.

somehow there always never enough time when ♥ books out.
somehow time always flies so fast whenever ♥books out. maybe it's in a hurry to.. somewhere.

just gotten maxmobile. haha damn nice. no more tolerating of horrible school network again. (just connecting is already a pain in the posterior end)

if i hadn't know you, i hadn't known love. you made my days worthwhile.
love still hurts but this time round, it's only your absence that made it hurt.
that is the extent of my love for you.♥

2009-11-12T12:21:00.003+08:00

this month's issue of her world covers many stories of people who smoked, and quitted. kudos to all their determination, and all the support everyone around them gave.

things happen. sometimes, when you're in the dumps, anything seems appealing. perhaps in another world, another time, i would be the one picking up that bad habit that lucas nearly picked up. at times, i'm thankful i told him off that night - at least my efforts weren't fruitless. but that had hurt. maybe that was one of the reasons our friendship deteriorated to bits.

whatever it was, it is, it will be, i will pick up the pieces of the friendship and piece them back, no matter what it takes. our friendship - it's something that meant a lot to me.

anyway, a christmas carol by charles dickens if i'm not wrong. the movie is coming out 19th november. maybe earlier judging by the love of theatres to give increasingly early previews. it was a good story. might be a good movie, seeing it's disney :)

2009-11-12T12:21:00.002+08:00

some days i wonder why people do what they do.

i wonder about complacency, discrimination, inequality. and all they preach about. about pledges and promises.

the perfect world only exists in the imaginary world, i guess. there will always be people who disagree, people who hate, people who defy. and so on.

2009-11-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

i find myself planning to write my plans for the weekends on paper. lol.

2009-11-11T21:28:00.002+08:00

down with sore throat. my throat hurts like hell. =/

happy 4th monthsary dearest~ ♥

2009-10-30T16:40:00.002+08:00

i can't log in to facebook for whatever reason. which is pissing me off, really.

today is a pretty short day. 2 hours of subra's lecture. subra's fine, actually. just that he always wants to make sure that we all know what he's saying, so he would go all the way down to the fundamentals before starting on a new concept. which can be really boring.

i really miss reading whatever. but all the books at home - i've read them at least 10 times over. i know them back to back. (1&2 fg peepx : outsiders, anyone?)

anyway, been reaaaally obsessed with Final Fantasy X. i found that it's really touching. if you really read into it. here's the japanese ending:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NOIeVW0MXQ

they edited the script for the english ending, such that yuna said "i love you" instead of "arigatou". so yup, that's why i put the jap version up.

2009-10-20T20:11:00.004+08:00

i've been feeling in the dumps yet again.

thanks gab, and my dearie pigpig, for making these days passable.

school has started. the lecturer was trying to scare us (the mb students, at least) by saying, should we fail a particular module, we can't take 4 other modules next year, as it's a bloody prerequisite.

compiling the e-learning lessons for the semester. can't believe how slacky our timetable can be. ironically, it really isn't. plenty of self-learning i guess.

i wonder how many of my classmates would make it through this semester. last semester was a piece of cake, yet i screwed it badly. sure, my dearie piggy would have said my results were good, glen even said my bad was qx's impressive. i'm not expecting too much of myself; i just did badly.

betrayal/you know it better than i do/don't try biting off more than you can chew/the light would surface one day/whatever it may/if you survive/congratulations/but that possibility/it's bleak as you and i both know/there's no use forcing your will on others/one day you'll find that/whatever goes around really comes around

2009-10-13T18:05:00.001+08:00

my sister's keeper's going to be in theatres 22 october.

i am so looking forward to it.

Shakespeare, William

2009-10-12T17:29:00.001+08:00

They do not love that do not show their love.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

When sorrows come, they come not single spies,
But in battalions.

I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your
hand which I love so well.

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.

Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.

Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shall have more
Than two tens to a score.

Cowards die many times before their deaths
The valiant never taste of death but once.

Fair is foul, and foul is fair.

Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

When we are born, we cry that we are come
To this great stage of fools.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell;
Though all things foul would wear the brows of grace,
Yet grace must still look so.

Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth.

For naught so vile that on the earth doth live
But to the earth some special good doth give;
Nor aught so good but, strain'd from that fair use,
Revolts from true birth, stumbling on the abuse:
Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied;
And vice sometimes by action dignified.

A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have
been, accepts what you have become, and still gently
allows you to grow.

I dare do all that may become a man;
Who dares do more, is none.

My bounty is as deep as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.

happy 3rd monthsary, 亲爱的

2009-10-11T22:54:00.003+08:00

much had happened these few days. i had felt upset. troubled. sad, even. it's true sometimes somethings really have to end. but not so in such an ugly way. i was appalled.

during these days, i realised that i totally can't do without my beloved. even though we are always apart physically, i'll always be with you my dearest. and likewise, i know your heart will always be with me.

happy 3rd monthsary 亲爱的. only you and i know the depth of the love we experience and share, for only you and i could reach that depth, together ♥

2009-09-29T21:11:00.001+08:00

i'm sick of pretending i don't care.

what 十全十美 crap. i've got enough.

2009-09-29T00:03:00.004+08:00

welcome back, junan's baby :)

was at white sands today with sis and the guys. while nic was queueing for his bubble tea, sis noticed this reeeeaaally ugly pink bike. it's hot pink, and obviously spray painted. badly. in other words, stolen. you could see the word s-t-o-l-e-n screaming at you. and we were telling junan. that's when he saw baby. the black spray painted bike behind the ugly pink one.

shortly after, nic, sis and junan confronted the guy. sis was scary, as usual. and i suppose the guy almost peed his pants. lol. he was trembling already. after some lying, he admitted that he stole baby and returned junan baby. :D

2009-09-28T14:33:00.002+08:00

unbearable : the feeling when you lost something you treasure very much

unfathomable : why would someone lie over something supremely trivial

unbelieveable : the extent of what someone can do for love

unforeseeable : the foggy future

---

can't believe that someone found out about.. something. feeling upset.

and no, i'm not letting anyone down.

2009-09-25T13:16:00.004+08:00

do i really blog in cheemology english? O.O *ponders*

today is friday. supposedly book-out day. but my beloved is not booking out today :( hais.

i seriously need motivation. and plenty of self-discipline. to get me through the next 2.5 years in poly. i'm so dead.

someone i know dropped out of poly. that person isn't someone i'm close to, but still.

i'm going to repeat something i had been repeating a lot recently :

hate how life is so 无奈. really hate it.

2009-09-24T19:51:00.004+08:00

i'm unbelieveably tired today. hadn't been able to sleep last night. and i re-read audrey niffenegger's the time traveler's wife. touching story that i sort of knew inside out, like jodi picoult's my sister's keeper. but i'm reading for keeps, that's pretty much all.

missing my darling pig so badly today. maybe it's the book. maybe 'cos the weekend ahead really seems way too short. or maybe..

couldn't concentrate at all today. especially during piano. tired, i guess. pretty much brain dead. i spent much of the day in bed, reading. my eyes feel siap siap. and i can't go to sleep yet. oh wells.

2009-09-23T22:39:00.004+08:00

was looking at my blog. then i realised that there's only LOVELESS under my notable posts. abit. lols. but i had thought that it was a really nice excerpt from CC. i still think so now. :D

well, some updates to my wish list, some additions to my links.. and yeeep. that's all. haha.

2009-09-23T22:21:00.004+08:00

woke up pretty late today. today is like judgement day - bloody results released today.

didn't do as well as i wanted to. but actually, kind of expected. i handed many lab reports late. the disappointment.. ahh.. glen was telling me not to get too disheartened. i am disheartened, but i don't wish to admit it, somehow. it really gives me much motivation to totally kill the modules next sem. have to recover my GPA.

i didn't go for guitar today. my arm was hurting like fish. bloody wall. or bloody me, depending on how you see it. ._. glen agreed to help me get a copy of whatever they are doing today, if anything's new anyway.

spent much of the day in white sands today. sis was supposed to study. keyword: supposed. but she sort of tunes out so easily when it's studying time. it's not like we don't teach well or what.

tried jubeat for the first time today! haha. oh and i passed a song okay. not bad for a noooooob. serious.

i realised that i'd been feeling disturbed recently. oh well. that's kind of trivial at this moment, i s'pose. and there's this fishing idiot spamming my sister's tagboard. i suspect that idiot has got something to do with a certain b*tch.

my beloved seems to be having a bad time in his new camp. he hadn't called me yet today. hope he's doing well. someone said that he wouldn't hold up. you wait and see, he will. i have the absolute confidence.

2009-09-15T22:45:00.003+08:00

this fawn is so damn adorable. :P

i'm feeling awfully excited now. haha!

going to tekong tomorrow. glen said there is nothing to see at tekong, but hey, i'm not going there for sightseeing. :D

it's glen's birthday coming friday. wahaha. and nope, not the same glen i mentioned earlier. HAHA, BIRTHDAY IN CAMP. how sucky.

well, turning in already. g'nite! :D

** edit: glen's birthday is on thursday. heh.

2009-09-07T18:48:00.004+08:00

been ages since i really blogged.

exams were over for.. quite some time. 29th august was my last paper. and it seriously sucked.

i'm seriously too free during holidays. i'm really living for the weekends. which kind of lacks meaning, and is really stupid.

looking back, i missed those days in sec sch. poly - too free. and because of everything that happened, i hate how i really messed up my past 3 years. time is precious - and i only truly realised it after everything happened. by right, i would have already graduated.

what a loser, right.

hais.

2009-08-30T22:54:00.002+08:00

love as sweet as such

thanks beloved, for all your love <3

2009-08-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

55th post.

feeling strangely moody today.

i miss my beloved.

i hate this world we live in.

2009-08-12T00:25:00.006+08:00

saw this bat outside Q701 in school today. was taking a breather between inorgch tutorial and phych lecture. it flew away shortly after i took this photo.

my beloved model noobie. sweet, isn't it. :D

something to mark our first month ♥

2009-08-08T00:44:00.004+08:00

ruins

ruined. that's what my extended national day weekend already is. group meeting for me, confinement for my beloved.

2009-08-05T21:37:00.001+08:00

feeling like this these few days.

2009-07-09T14:04:00.002+08:00

what luck!

okay, had my maths paper today. supposed to go 5 questions out of 6. and i went and did ALL of them. thank god the invigilator mentioned it before we were supposed to hand the paper in. so i crossed one whole question out. (thank god too, 'cos for that question which is upon 10 marks, i think i score 3 at most. bloody m$ excel, such cheemology.)

before i left home earlier, i asked my dad to come fetch me home after the paper. and after the paper when my dad is already halfway here, i was told there's group meeting for phychem. darn. and we spent about 3 hours doing nothing much. oh sheesh. what luck!

then well, got home. slacked. and suddenly i decide to go on dragonica, just for fun.. and it's having a server maintenance. ARGH. what bloody luck, man.

2009-07-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

Dance like no one's watching
Love like you'll never be hurt
Sing like no one's listening
Live like it's heaven on earth

2009-07-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

everybody's beloved (:

got this from my sis. haha. noobie <3

2009-07-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

crystals of ice. beauty at nature's best (:

2009-07-01T12:45:00.001+08:00

miyake™ don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive,."

yup, noted and agreed

2009-06-29T23:24:00.002+08:00

it's been days since i last blogged.

days have been hectic, but that's not the reason why i hadn't blogged.

i had been gaming. (tsk, tsk, but oh well. i did that.) and well, a little wee bit of revising.

oh yeah, i picked up guitar. tough, getting the notes right. and getting the right strings. and it makes my fingers hurt like crazy. (plasters work like magic in such cases. :D)

michael jackson died. a few days ago. from a cardiac arrest. and it's awful sad. i had wanted to go to one of his concerts sometime in my life - just to see him dance, real life. but he died before i could do that. and doubtless, i'm sad about it.

who cares about all the crap about him splashed all over newspapers and whatever media - he's still good, and no one can really contest that. he was good. really good. rest in peace, m.j..

2009-06-16T23:14:00.002+08:00

就是这样的一天。有时会发现自己一直一直想着一些东西。

感情。友情。亲情。

或许，根本应该顺其自然。但是对自己，与其一切，都没有信心。

这世界根本都没有完美的一天。也应该脚踏实地一点，现实一点。

2009-06-16T22:47:00.002+08:00

aaron carter ^^

2009-06-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

noctis lucis caelum - the one guy at the moment that might just make my heart skip a beat. ah-hah, ff again. i did mention i'm a fff (:

LOVE the personality and looks the developers gave him - made him much more real a person as compared to the rest of the protagonists in previous installments of ff. well, i still like vincent very much. vincent ftw!

was watching tv just now. strangely, life is really about interpersonal relationships, money, status. attitude. the lack of justice. if loving a person is so painful, maybe it's time to let go. friendship is much easier to maintain. (:

life is damn complicated. friendship is easier than love. and yet, friendship can be the one factor that make your whole life miserable. especially when an erstwhile trusted friend betrays your trust. if someone you trust so much can do this, what can you say about others?

just some food for thought. people nowadays are really lacking something that i can't put a finger on. maybe when i think of it, i'll say. i just know, something isn't there.

2009-06-13T23:41:00.002+08:00

i couldn't log into facebook just now. some of crap saying my account is not available due to some maintenance crap or something along the lines.

and.

i forgot what i wanted to blog about.

oh well.

my arms are aching. (the girl wanted to act smart, holding the lappy with one hand, typing with another WHILE walking - no time to settle down to submit one bloody MC huh)

2009-06-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog last night while i was in the midst of finishing up my DMD assignment. but blogger had something against me for some *king reason, so yeah.

was buying bubble tea in school today when i noticed A LOT of ADSS people. makes me miss someone all over again :3 hehe.

today's the last day of school. don't know whether to feel excited or not. CTs are after hols. somehow i'm looking forward to CTs. i'm not nuts, really.

2009-06-07T21:58:00.001+08:00

2009-06-07T21:29:00.001+08:00

misery loves company. no doubt about that.

i find myself waiting for a phone call that might not come. hopes always get dashed.

if there is no tomorrow ; what would you do?

2009-06-07T14:22:00.000+08:00

FF guys are always sooo good looking :3

*hua chi*

xP

Britney Spears - Circus

2009-06-07T13:44:00.002+08:00

There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain
And the ones that observe

Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl
Don't like the back seat
Gotta be first
Oh

I'm like the ring leader
I call the shots
I'm like a fire cracker
I make it hot

When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins
Spotlight on me
And I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer
The dance floor is my stage
Better be ready
Hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me
In the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip
Everybody gonna trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me
Follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go
We can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
Ha Ha Ho Ho

There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me
And the ones that are scared
So baby I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship
So beware

I'm like the ring leader
I call the shots
I'm like a fire cracker
I make it hot

When I put on a show
I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins
Spotlight on me
And I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer
The dance floor is my stage
Better be ready
Hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me
In the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip
Everybody gonna trip
Just like a circus
Dont stand there watchin' me
Follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go
We can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
Ha Ha Ho Ho

Let's go
Let me see what you can do
I'm runinn' this show
Just like a circus
Yea
Like a what
Just like a circus

All eyes on me
In the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip
Everybody gonna trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me
Follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go
We can make a dance floor
Just like a circus

All eyes on me
In the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip
Everybody gonna trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me
Follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go
We can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
Ha

2009-06-06T09:56:00.001+08:00

i effing woke up at 6 am today cos my tummy hurts like mad. :(

and i went back to sleep.

and i woke at 9am.

and i still refused to get out of bed till around 9:30.

lmaos. okay i'm lazy :D

2009-06-05T22:55:00.001+08:00

my thoughts always race ahead, leaving me behind.

i'm feeling ten thousand emotions in a day recently. feeling good, bad, good and bad. oh yes.

suffocated ; the euphoric feeling that came with it.

oh yes, i'm liking it. (:

2009-06-02T19:05:00.001+08:00

i was talking to my mentor a couple of days back. he had then mentioned that i think fast. i was kind of pleased with myself – getting a little swell-headed. anyway, consequences of thinking fast is that you will think too much, much more than others, really.

so, i was thinking about it. and i realised, it’s that exact reason why i’m so impatient with some people – i can’t fathom why they think so slowly; why they never realise things i realised aeons ago. which means my impatiences stemmed from my own “fast-ness”. which made me kind of miffed. :(

i was telling my sis about the alternate story of the three little pigs last night – then from there we went on to other fairy tales and children stories. then i found myself thinking – if real life is as simple and naive as those stories, everything would be so much better. love at first sight crap, then happily ever after crap. hais.

2009-06-01T08:46:00.002+08:00

i reached school super early today. 8:30am. was practicing piano at home before leaving - i guess i left a little too early. haha. whatever.

feeling effing tired today. and my tummy bloody hurts. bloody monday indeed.

there's this strange guy in my class taking pictures of the girls. lol. which reminds me - i saw this really cute guy on the bus. :x but of cos lah, some ppl are just meant for looking at. x.x

shi jie zhen de shi zai bu wan mei le.

2009-05-25T15:52:00.002+08:00

something i did while half-listening in my elective. nice eh? :p

2009-05-22T14:31:00.003+08:00

my cousin's blog's tagboard got spammed by some pseudo smarty-pants that can't spell retarded. hmmm.

in lecture now, bacterias and etc. (archaea, methanogens, halophiles, thermophiles... peptidoglycan blah blah.)

miss those times in cchms xP haha.

2009-05-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

bloody retarded. when i log onto blogger, i'm directed to someone else's account. -.-" damn freaky.

having a break halfway through the inorg chem lecture now. it's effing boring - all the sec 3 chem stuff. feeling emo already. haha xP

i'm like freezing lah. so cold in the theatre, so hot outside. hate the weather, totally. :(

2009-05-21T22:18:00.004+08:00

been tinkering with the blog html crap.

somehow, i don't know if the bgm is coming out at all. bugger that. anyway, while tinkering, i finally linked qi.

anyway if anyone wants to hear or do whatever to my bgm - here's the link.

it's two songs in one mp3 file. (: i like it quite a lot. i heard some tomboyish girl play it in the library's cafe a few times already. although the mp3 version sounds much much much smoother. have to admire her courage as a rookie to play in the cafe though.

talking about the cafe, i heard someone playing the g8 exam list A piece. it's one of the pieces in the purple book like a couple of years ago. haha xP

n.b. before i'm flame-grilled for copying, plagiarising, etc., i would like to thank qi for the song you bluetooth-ed to me during dinner. although i heard it plenty of times already, it's really thanks to you i know the song name (:

2009-05-20T22:44:00.001+08:00

whoopee.

ok i think my previous posts made it seemed like some jap psycho hacked my blog account. no. i posted them, so i’m the psycho. haha!

anyway i was thinking back – i realised i had been blogging since. wow. really long, like 5 or 6 years already.

and what had amounted from all those blogging? nothing much, really. ok so now i feel as though i wasted so much time for nothing. and what am i doing now? blogging. how ironic.

jap class just now. cant really believe that i had spent a year plus with pres and nakai sensei already. (no actually, i had spent like 7 years with pres. hee :D) nakai sensei has this mickey mouse pen which caught my eye some couple of weeks ago. it’s cute, okay. anyway i saw him jabbing the nib of the pen into the paper a few times like, last last lesson or so. so i think one of the colours had run out. (it’s those 4-coloured pen)

today marks the first monthsary at nyp. if anyone EVER cares. i wonder how chris felt years ago when he finished his first month at nyp. bet he couldn’t care – he seemed so icantbebotheredokay. talking about him, i remember that day when he told me there’s a road near the escalator at the atrium. and i insisted that there wasn’t (hey, i DIDN’T see it, okay). bet i made a goddamned fool of myself. haha. dang, who am i to quarrel about that to an ex-nyp student. dumb, okay. DUMB.

school – i think i’m starting to like physical chem. everytime they go through some physics concept that we learnt in sec school, i could imagine mr. gan reiterating in the past. gosh, thanks so much for nagging, mr. gan. i can’t believe i still remember all those years after you stopped nagging. (: i guess physical chem is way more manageable than physics. it seemed easier to understand and apply than before. or maybe because my brain had some sort of upgrade that i’m not aware of. ya, right!’

mum’s being a pain again. i dunno, but somehow we simply can’t see eye to eye. i lent her one of my spare phones – it was brand-new, mind you. and it’s in a pretty tattered condition now. xin tong leh. and i doubt i’m ever getting it back. 700 bux down the drain. emoeded.

well, gotta go shower and take my med. don’t know if i can fall asleep =/ i took a 4-hour plus long nap just now. i tried waking up 2 hours into the nap but, somehow i just konk-ed back to sleep. oh well. tatas.

2009-05-20T22:21:00.001+08:00

皆さん！

一緒に　頑張ろう！

2009-05-20T22:12:00.001+08:00

今日は学校に行かない。MC があるね！

明日は学校がある。T.T　私はとても疲れただ。今日はとても眠い　－　ピアノを弾く事がしないね。ちょっと悲しい。はは。

「シ」

じゃ、シャワーを浴びるきますね！　シ

2009-05-12T13:32:00.002+08:00

the kids are so responsible, i'm amazed. (maomao, the kids. you know whom i'm referring to? :P)

tsk tsk tsk.

2009-05-10T22:49:00.001+08:00

i really hate my school’s e-learning website. that’s where we (the students) are supposed to get our worksheets and whatnots. AND IT FREAKING ALWAYS DOESN’T WORK. it’s so effing irritating. it (the server or whatever) either pretends to be offline, or leaves me loopy by making me log in ten thousand times over and not giving me my .pdf file. bloody heck.

*grrr*

2009-05-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

3 people i share my birthday with

- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770, 16 December)
- Eric Jackson "Kaine" from Ying Yang Twins (1978, 16 December)
- Tramar Dillard "Flo Rida" (1979, 16 December)

(:

2009-05-07T23:51:00.001+08:00

i am feeling strangely emotional today.

feel that live is just too fragile, too transient.

feel that jodi picoult writes books that totally, absolutely shatters my already fragmented heart.

feel that, life is so unfair – justice shouldn’t ever exist.

i am still thinking of star – my cousin’s dog which died a way too premature death. a horrendous death. it totally broke my heart; no matter how much i disliked it, i still felt so hard for its death. it’s just a dog, how can anyone hold such grudge against it – to kill it even. don’t tell me it’s an accident, the circumstances and the human mind totally dismisses that possibility. don’t tell me fear held back actions – there were so many other people who could help. it was such a huge dog. it almost weigh as much as a primary-going-to-secondary-school-kid. i can’t even fathom the pain it went through. rest in peace, star.

my heart – maybe it had been whole some time ago. but it had shattered to such tiny pieces that i found myself (not literally) sitting in the middle of the shards in denial, then in a daze – what do you do with such a badly broken heart? after some time i finally picked myself up and started piecing them together, with the support of a friend. i gained some confidence, learnt to let go a little. but that was not to be for long. the next blow came and my shattered glass sculpture was smashed into even smaller shards in front of my eyes. i really felt like giving up then. and i still do now. the lesson i learnt was to steer clear of the hammers that peppered my life like streetlights along the roads in Singapore.

anyway, i shall change the topic. i went to the audition for fb just now with regina and amelia. i think we totally screwed up. i can see my hope dissipating into the air. maybe i shall try some dances outside. means, i gotta pay. well, hope that some miracle works itself and i get into fb. heh. i really do dream too big, huh.

2009-05-05T22:28:00.001+08:00

my cousin’s dog got hung by his maid. that effing ****ing cruel woman. my cousin had that dog for 8 years. needless to say, he and his wife were devastated. even though i don’t like the dog, but such cruelty… unforgivable. the maid hung the leash in the lift and left the dog outside. and the lift went up. the dog got hung there for 20 minutes, according to the CCTV footage. i was filled with rage when i heard that. how can anyone ever be so cruel??

anyway, i watched x-men 1,2,3 and origins over the past 3 days. wolverine rocks okay! anyway i think i had an overdose of x-men; keep thinking of it x.x

i found plenty of scores online last weekend. printed them yesterday and played all of them the first, second, third and forth times on the same day. (maybe more times :x) had my piano lesson today. my teacher said i improved, though i really need to work on the confidence in my playing. confidence – where do i really find it? it has always been lacking in my life. oh well, guess i got to practice more.

music – it has been an essential part of my life. i love music. playing, creating, listening – they all make me feel happy. more often than not, i have a melody running in my mind. yet, i’m improving at such a slow rate that i’m getting very impatient. i want results. more, more! (more practice, again. oh wells.)

i saw this game called anti-monopoly in popular on sunday. it’s interesting. and it cost $59.90. bugger. should i or should i not buy it?

realised i had been grousing a lot these few days. frankly speaking, i’m very irritated by the fact that people of our generation are often irresponsible. if you can’t make it on time, or at all, for a meeting or what, at least have the courtesy to inform whoever you’re meeting. but, apparently this doesn’t even occur to some people, at all. gah. makes me so mad.

2009-04-29T16:51:00.001+08:00

i didn’t know that my microA lec was moved to 4:30pm today.

there goes my plan for the afternoon (which isn’t much – like sleeping, heh)

and i have to attend my jap class without my notes (‘cos they’re at home and i don’t have time to go get them. emoeded)

in the middle of microA lec now. going thru kingdoms for living things which have strange names. bugger.

my calculator gave up on me when i was multiplying some 4XXX by 1.6 some days ago. don’t ask why am i calculating that – you might know, but i’m not telling. hee *grin*

ok, gotta pay attention :P

ja na~

2009-04-28T10:18:00.001+08:00

the weather is really against me. whenever i planned to go swimming it'd rain. gah. =(

in the library now, nursing an effing gigantic headache.

don't know why, but i have this feeling that maybe i will be walking alone (not lit.) again these few years.

2009-04-27T23:04:00.001+08:00

i forgot to mention that during microbiology today, we did some growing bacteria cultures crap.

i poked my agar. :( what a show of un-professionalism.

hopefully my cultures grow nicely like last time :D i missed those times at cch.

<3 cch

2009-04-27T20:30:00.003+08:00

someone's cologne smelt familiar today. brought back some bittersweet memories. painful ones even.

HYDE from L'arc~En~Ciel is wickedly cool. (:

but of course, vincent valentine is way cooler. (how can a real person compare to one who's perfect to unreal proportions? (: )

vv ftw! xP

btw, 下弦の月 is a nice movie. it's read as kagen no tsuki. (:

2009-04-24T09:18:00.001+08:00

i cabbed to school today. i reached school 5 min early. just in time, i guess. the cabbie was a really nice guy. :)

2009-04-23T14:34:00.001+08:00

apparently i’m not the only fff in class. it’s a “comfort” to know that. hehe.

i so absolutely love my wallpaper.

2009-04-23T10:03:00.001+08:00

last night was the typical “one stormy night” that kids LOVED to start their compositions with.

the wind was howling, whistling through any open spaces in the windows, and the wind chime is chiming like, wow crazy.

i don’t know if it did rain. i was like half asleep already.

2009-04-22T12:23:00.001+08:00

having lecture now. i’m falling asleep :(

conversion ; joules – calories, g/cm2 – kg/m2 ; significant figures…

i’m so done with that.

LOVELESS

2009-04-15T11:27:00.000+08:00

When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh

My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return

My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice

2009-04-12T23:04:00.002+08:00

my blog is like pretty dead.

oh well, whatever.

there's this nice scent in the air this couple of days. really make me think of a period of time some 2 or 3 years ago. it's a really bittersweet feeling. 'cos i'm constantly reminded that i can't have what i really want.