Friday, 1 January 2010
♥ new year, old fears
it's new year's, yet again.
year after year, this day never fails to come. and year after year, i never fail to fear.
fearing that people close to me would turn and walk away, fearing that people that i care for would hurt, fearing that one day i would wake up and realised that my own world had betrayed me.
a little irrational, i know. but things like that had happened enough times for me to be wary.
two days to remind me of the two years i missed. and i'm just barely starting, hoping that things would return to what they were like before. even that itself is wishful thinking. i had missed out the two years where you two had grown up the most, how can i hope that things would be like before? in the past it used to be either two of us, whispering pointing and laughing. now, it's only you two. saddening, somehow.
with much hope, this year will be better.